After midnight and pre-dawn calls from home are the ones that can make your heartbeat racing. I got one such dreaded call a fortnight back. I saw 2 missed calls from my dad at 6:15 in the morning after I came out of showers. First thing I did was to pray to the God and then call back to my dad. By the time my dad picked up the call, I made numerous guesses. And then finally, dad broke the sad news of my Mom’s uncle’s sad demise due to two back-to-back heart attacks. I was stunned.
My dad told me in clear words that I don’t need to rush to home, as I would not be able to attend the funeral and advised me to try to come during “Terahvi” (the thirteenth day), if possible. Though there was no doubt that I would come but it shows my dad’s understanding of the problems I may face while coming, when he used “if possible”. Well, I somehow managed to go after overcoming many “problems”. Being with your loved ones during these testing times is something we all want to do.
Amidst all the other benefits of life that people like me who live 1000 miles away from their hometowns enjoy, this is one of those reasons because of which we sometimes feel sad, cursed and even ashamed. I have always felt that pinch of missing out so many events because of only one reason: I was sitting far away from my hometown. But never I felt that pinch so strongly as I’m feeling from last 15 days. What’s the use of all those luxuries of life if you can’t be with people who matter, in times of need? I know I cant do much other than rendering a shoulder but isn’t that the most important thing at these times?
This is not the first time nor is this going to be the last time. This whole thing reminds me of that “one-Bedroom-home” story of a man who roams around the world so that he could afford a home but misses out being with his loved ones his whole life and finally at the end sits alone thinking about the worth of his life.
But this is the price that I have to pay and I have known about it from the beginning itself, as that was the trade-off. I’m living my dream, professionally at least, and have done and achieved much more than what I thought I would be able to, but I think there’s a line which needs to be drawn before its too late. I know I can’t go back to my hometown permanently but the distance can be reduced.
That impending US visa interview is no more exciting and maybe its time to consider those opportunities in Noida/Gurgaon/Pune.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I want to Break Free
Every person comes at this cross road once in their life. And my respect for the other “already-done” folks only increases with the amount of time I spend at this cross road before actually crossing it.
It all started once my sister got married. No wait. During her marriage only, my distant aunties will call me to meet their distant acquaintances. Initially I would think it’s just a customary introduction but their questions made me think otherwise. I mean, I’m ok if someone’s asking me about my company, my profile and even my package but then come the irritating questions like “Whats your DOB”, I will answer that as well but then aunty will say “No, no..I mean full DOB with year” and then the time of birth, the place and all. I wished I could say to aunty “Just give me a second and I’ll tell you the name of the hospital and the doctor as well”. Grrrr..
Just imagine that you are trying to make everything go as per the plan at your sister’s wedding and out of nowhere you are subjected to an impromptu interview! And every other person telling you “Ab teri line clear hai” with a wink! I’m used to this kind of winking from my friends and would love it if any girl does that to me but it’s really scary when middle-aged aunties do that. Really, really scary!
And then there are friends who are getting married. Every now and then I get one wedding invitation. That makes many of friends ask me “Sharmaji, aap kab kar rahe ho shaadi?”. “Ab umar ho gayee hai”, “Aapse kam umar ke logo ne bhi karma shuru kar diya hai”. And most of them are my close friends and they have their own reasons. Sample these: Pandeyji, Kakke and Ankit say “ Bhagwaan kare teri biwi tujhe utna hi sataaye jitna tune humein sataaya hai” or Chunnu who says that he’ll get married only after me because then I’ll attend his wedding with my wife and will sit quiet! And I know these are just the few names out of many;)
I have few answers for some of the questions I could not answer. They are:
Q: Beta, kaisi ladki chahiye tumhe?
A: I really wanted to marry Preity Zinta few years back but now I’m not sure.
Q: Education kis level ki chahiye?
A: Should have been nominated for Nobel prize twice.
Q: A Housewife or a working wife?
A: Doesn’t matter. If she’s a housewife, she should be able to cook 100+ cuisines and if she’s working then she should earn 1.5 times of my salary and then I’ll become a househusband.
Q: Ladki ka family status kaisa hona chahiye?
A: Her father should be able to take care of me if decide to retire next year.
And the list is endless. Well, jokes apart, I believe this is something which has to happen but it should happen when it should ideally happen. Who doesn’t want a companion for whole life but just wish that the process of finding her could be a little less tedious. And to be honest, even I dont know the answers for above questions. And I firmly believe that when the right time comes, everything happens in a right manner and you meet the right person. Till then, its Laddakh in August;)
And this one I read somewhere long back:
“Tum mile ho abhi-abhi par aisa lagta hai ki tum the yahi-kahi”
It all started once my sister got married. No wait. During her marriage only, my distant aunties will call me to meet their distant acquaintances. Initially I would think it’s just a customary introduction but their questions made me think otherwise. I mean, I’m ok if someone’s asking me about my company, my profile and even my package but then come the irritating questions like “Whats your DOB”, I will answer that as well but then aunty will say “No, no..I mean full DOB with year” and then the time of birth, the place and all. I wished I could say to aunty “Just give me a second and I’ll tell you the name of the hospital and the doctor as well”. Grrrr..
Just imagine that you are trying to make everything go as per the plan at your sister’s wedding and out of nowhere you are subjected to an impromptu interview! And every other person telling you “Ab teri line clear hai” with a wink! I’m used to this kind of winking from my friends and would love it if any girl does that to me but it’s really scary when middle-aged aunties do that. Really, really scary!
And then there are friends who are getting married. Every now and then I get one wedding invitation. That makes many of friends ask me “Sharmaji, aap kab kar rahe ho shaadi?”. “Ab umar ho gayee hai”, “Aapse kam umar ke logo ne bhi karma shuru kar diya hai”. And most of them are my close friends and they have their own reasons. Sample these: Pandeyji, Kakke and Ankit say “ Bhagwaan kare teri biwi tujhe utna hi sataaye jitna tune humein sataaya hai” or Chunnu who says that he’ll get married only after me because then I’ll attend his wedding with my wife and will sit quiet! And I know these are just the few names out of many;)
I have few answers for some of the questions I could not answer. They are:
Q: Beta, kaisi ladki chahiye tumhe?
A: I really wanted to marry Preity Zinta few years back but now I’m not sure.
Q: Education kis level ki chahiye?
A: Should have been nominated for Nobel prize twice.
Q: A Housewife or a working wife?
A: Doesn’t matter. If she’s a housewife, she should be able to cook 100+ cuisines and if she’s working then she should earn 1.5 times of my salary and then I’ll become a househusband.
Q: Ladki ka family status kaisa hona chahiye?
A: Her father should be able to take care of me if decide to retire next year.
And the list is endless. Well, jokes apart, I believe this is something which has to happen but it should happen when it should ideally happen. Who doesn’t want a companion for whole life but just wish that the process of finding her could be a little less tedious. And to be honest, even I dont know the answers for above questions. And I firmly believe that when the right time comes, everything happens in a right manner and you meet the right person. Till then, its Laddakh in August;)
And this one I read somewhere long back:
“Tum mile ho abhi-abhi par aisa lagta hai ki tum the yahi-kahi”
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
No Regrets!
One of my friends called me last week and said: “Munna, there’s a bad news that I must share with you”. I asked eagerly: “What?” He then told me that the prices of Sony Bravia, he also bought one along with me, have come down and now he’s feeling bad. I snapped back “ What’s bad in that? Wasn’t that the best bargain which we could have got at that particular time?” Well, my friend then jokingly told me how he admires my way of thinking and how it’s not that easy for everyone to think that way.
I wondered what’s so difficult about it? The example that I gave above is just one more reminder of the way life goes on. You can’t deal with past. Or in other words, you can’t change past. And that’s the very reason that I never regret what I have done in past. Of course, there are few decisions that have not turned out the way I expected them to, but those were the best decisions that I could have taken at that point of time. Or at least, I would like to believe so.
I believe in living life without any regrets and respecting all my decisions is one of the ways to do so. Because respecting your decisions also mean respecting yourself. And if any our decisions have really gone bad, we make it worse for ourselves by thinking too much about it. If possible, take corrective actions, otherwise just take it as a lesson and move on.
I know it’s better said than done. But do we have an option? Don’t want to make this post too philosophical but it’s very important that we don’t take notice of things which make us unhappy. There are so many things in life we can be thankful and be happy for!
I wondered what’s so difficult about it? The example that I gave above is just one more reminder of the way life goes on. You can’t deal with past. Or in other words, you can’t change past. And that’s the very reason that I never regret what I have done in past. Of course, there are few decisions that have not turned out the way I expected them to, but those were the best decisions that I could have taken at that point of time. Or at least, I would like to believe so.
I believe in living life without any regrets and respecting all my decisions is one of the ways to do so. Because respecting your decisions also mean respecting yourself. And if any our decisions have really gone bad, we make it worse for ourselves by thinking too much about it. If possible, take corrective actions, otherwise just take it as a lesson and move on.
I know it’s better said than done. But do we have an option? Don’t want to make this post too philosophical but it’s very important that we don’t take notice of things which make us unhappy. There are so many things in life we can be thankful and be happy for!
Monday, April 4, 2011
And Then I Cried Again
March, 1996: I got the first experience of something that you feel when your dream gets shattered. I couldn’t stop my tears when India lost to Sri Lanka in WC Semi-finals and then had my little sister consoling me.
March, 2003: So near and yet so far. Had matured with age, so I didn’t cry this time but was devastated when India lost to Australia in the WC Finals.
Everyone in India is either a cricket expert or a movie critic or a political advisor. As an Indian, you get one or more of the three things in legacy from your parents: Cricket. Movies. Politics. I got a bit of all three but then got more passionate about one of them: Cricket.
I, like any other Indian, have lived cricket. Played in 45 degrees of temperature. Involved in those fights during inter-colony matches. Watched the whole night of cricket of Indian tours to West Indies. Bunked school for even a match against Zimbabwe. Stood for almost 8 hours in front of pawnshops. I, like all Indians of my generation, have heard those stories of our team’s triumph at the Lords in 1983. And then have watched umpteen times the highlights of that final and listened to the ’83 champions before every successive world cup. And had only one wish: India be the World Champion again.
There were two instances when we had a good go at the title. But the tale in 1996 was the same as of any other matches of nineties: India surrendered meekly after that One man got out. And in 2003, we really played like champions but lost to a better team. To a better team or a weaker team: we lost. I always felt that pinch of not winning that elusive trophy.
So when everyone tipped India as the favorites for this years WC, I was a little skeptical. Yes, we had the strongest batting lineup but still..Who knows…And the group league matches vindicated my suspicion. But then came the QF against Aussies : We avenged the 2003 loss. And SF against Pakis: can’t say anything about that match. But it was the final which gave me butterflies. Is history going to repeat itself? Are we again going to succumb the ’96 way?
But this is 2011. New India. New team. And the team that fulfilled the dream of 1.2 billion Indians. That massive six from Dhoni was like a punch to the whole world and the announcement that we are not only the economical power of cricket but also the on field super power. And then we all erupted in joy! I was so overwhelmed that I could not shout. I was holding my tears back, somehow, but couldn’t stop myself from crying when I saw HIS eyes in tears.
The whole context behind this win was required to show how fans like me are feeling right now. People who have seen India crumbling in every world cup and waited all this while. Just imagine what HE must be feeling then!
I have already written a complete post on HIM but is anything ever going to be sufficient when you want to write/say something about HIM? HE participated in 6 world cups and I have seen all those world cups (though I wasn’t a complete fan during ’92 WC but I still remember HIS destruction of Pak and NZ). Have seen HIM disappointed after every world cup. Can’t forget his face when he received Man of The Tournament for 2003 WC. Have seen a burning desire in his eyes to get hold of that only coveted jewel missing from the crown of the greatest cricketer ever! (Who’s Don Bradman btw?) This cup is for YOU. And Virat Kohli actually summed it up when he replied to a question asked by a journalist why they were carrying HIM on their shoulders “ Well, HE has carried the country for 21 years on HIS shoulders”. YOU did not owe this to YOUR country. We owe it to YOU. Thanks for being born an Indian and giving us one more reason to be proud of the fact that we are Indians! So now, that great man got what HE wanted. And also, a South African became an Indian forever. I think I can go on and on.
And then after the presentation ceremony, we went to the MG Road. I remember watching on TV how about one million fans thronged the Eiffel tower when France won the ’98 Soccer WC. Well, this was our day. It was tricolor, dhol, chants of “Indiaaaa-Indiaaaa”, “Sachinnnn-Sachinnn”, “Bharat Mata ki Jai” and “Vande Matram” everywhere you can see. Headcount should be almost 100,000!! And we danced, hugged and cheered with total strangers with only one thing in common: We were Indians and were on top of the world! The world should hear the noise when 1/6th of the humanity celebrates.
02.04.2011 will go into the history as one of the happiest days of any Indian’s life. And it should be like that only. We will remember our whole life the exact place we were at when Dhoni hit that six. This feeling is unmatchable and will take some time to sink in. Till then, Indiaaaaaaaaa-Indiaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
PS: When I bought Sony Bravia LED TV just before WC, I told everyone that my TV will be lucky for India. And it proved to be!!
March, 2003: So near and yet so far. Had matured with age, so I didn’t cry this time but was devastated when India lost to Australia in the WC Finals.
Everyone in India is either a cricket expert or a movie critic or a political advisor. As an Indian, you get one or more of the three things in legacy from your parents: Cricket. Movies. Politics. I got a bit of all three but then got more passionate about one of them: Cricket.
I, like any other Indian, have lived cricket. Played in 45 degrees of temperature. Involved in those fights during inter-colony matches. Watched the whole night of cricket of Indian tours to West Indies. Bunked school for even a match against Zimbabwe. Stood for almost 8 hours in front of pawnshops. I, like all Indians of my generation, have heard those stories of our team’s triumph at the Lords in 1983. And then have watched umpteen times the highlights of that final and listened to the ’83 champions before every successive world cup. And had only one wish: India be the World Champion again.
There were two instances when we had a good go at the title. But the tale in 1996 was the same as of any other matches of nineties: India surrendered meekly after that One man got out. And in 2003, we really played like champions but lost to a better team. To a better team or a weaker team: we lost. I always felt that pinch of not winning that elusive trophy.
So when everyone tipped India as the favorites for this years WC, I was a little skeptical. Yes, we had the strongest batting lineup but still..Who knows…And the group league matches vindicated my suspicion. But then came the QF against Aussies : We avenged the 2003 loss. And SF against Pakis: can’t say anything about that match. But it was the final which gave me butterflies. Is history going to repeat itself? Are we again going to succumb the ’96 way?
But this is 2011. New India. New team. And the team that fulfilled the dream of 1.2 billion Indians. That massive six from Dhoni was like a punch to the whole world and the announcement that we are not only the economical power of cricket but also the on field super power. And then we all erupted in joy! I was so overwhelmed that I could not shout. I was holding my tears back, somehow, but couldn’t stop myself from crying when I saw HIS eyes in tears.
The whole context behind this win was required to show how fans like me are feeling right now. People who have seen India crumbling in every world cup and waited all this while. Just imagine what HE must be feeling then!
I have already written a complete post on HIM but is anything ever going to be sufficient when you want to write/say something about HIM? HE participated in 6 world cups and I have seen all those world cups (though I wasn’t a complete fan during ’92 WC but I still remember HIS destruction of Pak and NZ). Have seen HIM disappointed after every world cup. Can’t forget his face when he received Man of The Tournament for 2003 WC. Have seen a burning desire in his eyes to get hold of that only coveted jewel missing from the crown of the greatest cricketer ever! (Who’s Don Bradman btw?) This cup is for YOU. And Virat Kohli actually summed it up when he replied to a question asked by a journalist why they were carrying HIM on their shoulders “ Well, HE has carried the country for 21 years on HIS shoulders”. YOU did not owe this to YOUR country. We owe it to YOU. Thanks for being born an Indian and giving us one more reason to be proud of the fact that we are Indians! So now, that great man got what HE wanted. And also, a South African became an Indian forever. I think I can go on and on.
And then after the presentation ceremony, we went to the MG Road. I remember watching on TV how about one million fans thronged the Eiffel tower when France won the ’98 Soccer WC. Well, this was our day. It was tricolor, dhol, chants of “Indiaaaa-Indiaaaa”, “Sachinnnn-Sachinnn”, “Bharat Mata ki Jai” and “Vande Matram” everywhere you can see. Headcount should be almost 100,000!! And we danced, hugged and cheered with total strangers with only one thing in common: We were Indians and were on top of the world! The world should hear the noise when 1/6th of the humanity celebrates.
02.04.2011 will go into the history as one of the happiest days of any Indian’s life. And it should be like that only. We will remember our whole life the exact place we were at when Dhoni hit that six. This feeling is unmatchable and will take some time to sink in. Till then, Indiaaaaaaaaa-Indiaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
PS: When I bought Sony Bravia LED TV just before WC, I told everyone that my TV will be lucky for India. And it proved to be!!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Purani Jeans Aur Guitar!
“All groups will prepare the case and I’ll pick any one to give the presentation”, said our prof. I thought this is what B-School life is all about: even if you are not presenting, you have to prepare the case. Who knows who gets picked up! But hang on! Where is my group? Then I went to Punnu (our CR) and asked him to put me in a group. He asked me “Any preference?” I said “Yaar, kal hi toh aaya hoo. Don’t know anyone. Whichever group is one short, I’ll go to that group”. Every group was of 6 people, so I automatically went to the one having only 5 members.
Infy’s refusal to relieve me on time meant that I joined IMT two weeks late, exhausting the quota of misses allowed in all the subject of my first term and by that time, all the group formations were already done. It was not the first time that I was in a new place, meeting new people. So I consoled myself that if the group is not good, I’ll change it in the next trimester. What I didn’t know was that not only we all 6 will stick together till the last subject of the last term, but also will become the closest friends!
My Group. Our first meeting actually gave a teaser of what’s there in store. We met at Pandeyji’s room (can’t forget that J-Lobby, 4th floor!!) to discuss a forthcoming presentation. Though it’s a different thing that we hardly discussed that presentation but that meeting gave me the assurance that it’s not as bad as I was thinking. From usual “What’s your story”, we quickly came to the point-Bakar. And I took that opportunity to crack all those non-veg jokes which are my way of telling people (with whom I’m supposed to spend some time together) the way they are going to see me for our time together. And guess what? All of us belonged to the same breed, though the degree differed but more or less, we were the birds of same feather☺
Then for the next 21 months, my group gave me the assurance of belongingness. Best example of that belongingness came from the fact that we always looked for the left-back corner of the classroom for an empty seat-so that we can sit together. The fact that our hands will quickly dial those 5 numbers if any important information was intercepted by anyone from our group-so that none of us is unaware of anything worth knowing. The fact that we’ll arrange amongst ourselves who’s going to attend which class –so that “proxies’ can be distributed judiciously. The fact that we’d always have our dinner together-so that we can forget the quality of food in our mess. The fact that, no matter if it’s rain or fog, there would be a coffee round in the late night-so that we can cry laughing out. The fact that we’ll not allow any prof to break our group-so that none of us goes anywhere else. The fact that we always made our trips together-so that we can click the pictures and someday, each one us can tell his kids that this was my family at IMT.
I have always believed that whatever experience you carry from any city is because of the kind of people you meet there. So whether it was Indore, Pune, Hyderabad, Bangalore or Ghaziabad, I have those lovely memories because of the people I met there who made all the difference. And to be honest, in every city I believed that this is it-I wont meet people like these anymore. But I have been consistently proven wrong.
I was lucky enough that I got a second chance to relive my college life and do all those things which I might have missed earlier. So it was because of my group that IMT became “The IMT” for me. It was a dream that I lived and I never wanted to wake up. And my post will be incomplete if I don’t mention about those two lateral entries in our group who came a little late but then became an integral part of our group and if I must say, they became integral part of each other’s life (in IMT only?) as well;) Please don’t kill me for this!
This March is making me more senti as its going to be exactly one year since we left each other. Many things have changed since then. Many of us changed our jobs. Two got married. We have started thinking of investments, savings, career growth and all those “necessary” things. There are now so many things to worry about in our life which consume our whole day. Aamir’s dialogue from RDB, written by an IMTian, suits the bill here: “Ik din ye sab kuchh nahi rehna. Sab apne-apne raste nikal jayenge. Wohi duniya de jhamele. Naukri dhoondho, paise kamao, ghar basao, tey life de isharo pe nachte jaao. College de gate ke iss taraf hum life ko nachate hai, tey dooji taraf life humko nachati hai”. Couldn’t agree more. Yeah, we have to move on. But out of nowhere, sometimes I feel a pinch when my boss tells me “Chal Sharma, coffee peeke aate hai”.
P.S.- Dedicated to my whole group and in specific to Raabutt, who got married 3 days back:)
Infy’s refusal to relieve me on time meant that I joined IMT two weeks late, exhausting the quota of misses allowed in all the subject of my first term and by that time, all the group formations were already done. It was not the first time that I was in a new place, meeting new people. So I consoled myself that if the group is not good, I’ll change it in the next trimester. What I didn’t know was that not only we all 6 will stick together till the last subject of the last term, but also will become the closest friends!
My Group. Our first meeting actually gave a teaser of what’s there in store. We met at Pandeyji’s room (can’t forget that J-Lobby, 4th floor!!) to discuss a forthcoming presentation. Though it’s a different thing that we hardly discussed that presentation but that meeting gave me the assurance that it’s not as bad as I was thinking. From usual “What’s your story”, we quickly came to the point-Bakar. And I took that opportunity to crack all those non-veg jokes which are my way of telling people (with whom I’m supposed to spend some time together) the way they are going to see me for our time together. And guess what? All of us belonged to the same breed, though the degree differed but more or less, we were the birds of same feather☺
Then for the next 21 months, my group gave me the assurance of belongingness. Best example of that belongingness came from the fact that we always looked for the left-back corner of the classroom for an empty seat-so that we can sit together. The fact that our hands will quickly dial those 5 numbers if any important information was intercepted by anyone from our group-so that none of us is unaware of anything worth knowing. The fact that we’ll arrange amongst ourselves who’s going to attend which class –so that “proxies’ can be distributed judiciously. The fact that we’d always have our dinner together-so that we can forget the quality of food in our mess. The fact that, no matter if it’s rain or fog, there would be a coffee round in the late night-so that we can cry laughing out. The fact that we’ll not allow any prof to break our group-so that none of us goes anywhere else. The fact that we always made our trips together-so that we can click the pictures and someday, each one us can tell his kids that this was my family at IMT.
I have always believed that whatever experience you carry from any city is because of the kind of people you meet there. So whether it was Indore, Pune, Hyderabad, Bangalore or Ghaziabad, I have those lovely memories because of the people I met there who made all the difference. And to be honest, in every city I believed that this is it-I wont meet people like these anymore. But I have been consistently proven wrong.
I was lucky enough that I got a second chance to relive my college life and do all those things which I might have missed earlier. So it was because of my group that IMT became “The IMT” for me. It was a dream that I lived and I never wanted to wake up. And my post will be incomplete if I don’t mention about those two lateral entries in our group who came a little late but then became an integral part of our group and if I must say, they became integral part of each other’s life (in IMT only?) as well;) Please don’t kill me for this!
This March is making me more senti as its going to be exactly one year since we left each other. Many things have changed since then. Many of us changed our jobs. Two got married. We have started thinking of investments, savings, career growth and all those “necessary” things. There are now so many things to worry about in our life which consume our whole day. Aamir’s dialogue from RDB, written by an IMTian, suits the bill here: “Ik din ye sab kuchh nahi rehna. Sab apne-apne raste nikal jayenge. Wohi duniya de jhamele. Naukri dhoondho, paise kamao, ghar basao, tey life de isharo pe nachte jaao. College de gate ke iss taraf hum life ko nachate hai, tey dooji taraf life humko nachati hai”. Couldn’t agree more. Yeah, we have to move on. But out of nowhere, sometimes I feel a pinch when my boss tells me “Chal Sharma, coffee peeke aate hai”.
P.S.- Dedicated to my whole group and in specific to Raabutt, who got married 3 days back:)
Friday, February 25, 2011
A Desi wedding
One of my American team members recently asked me “Amit, why did you need 15 days for your sister’s marriage? I mean it’s just a marriage”. I asked him back: “How many people get invited in a typical American wedding”. He replied: “Around 100”. I said: “ Well, we invite around 900 people”. Then I asked him one more question: “How much time it takes for a marriage to finish in America?”. He said: “3-4 hours”. I said: It takes more than 2 days in India”. Then he said: “OMG! Indians are unique”. I told him with pride and a smile: “Yes, we are”. What I didn’t tell him was: “It also happens once in a life time for us, so it’s more important”. Hehe.
I’m not appreciating my culture at the expense of some other culture. It’s just the way we Indians are. India is unique. Diverse but unique. Some western observers have written lengthy articles about Indian traditions and customs and how they change every 100 km. They have wondered over many Indian customs and the example which I gave is only one of those others. And there are so many things in our culture, which either we don’t know about or if we know, then we don’t understand their meaning. But I got an insight into many of them recently.
Marriages in India are one more way to celebrate life. A get together with your loved ones and what follows is to remember and cherish all life. It’s generally a two days affair in our culture and all the close relatives come before day 1.
Day 1. It starts with “Ganesh pooja” as it happens before any “Shubh-kaarya”. This is followed by “Devi pooja” where parents worship “Durga” to provide her blessings to the bride. Next function is called “Mandap” where a “Havana-Kund” is put in the centre and four pillars surround it to make it a sacred place. Basically, “Mandap” is the place where all the remaining ceremonies take place. Some “pooja” is done to make it fit for all the ceremonies. Then, there is a “Rasm” called “Cheegat” where maternal uncles gift clothes to the bride and her family amidst all the banter. And then the evening is that part for which all the cousins wait for. Its time for “Mahila Sangeet”. Though its name can be misleading, “Mahila Sangeet” actually means that whole extended family gets into the groove and perform on the stage. Day ends typically by 2 am.
Day 2. The day starts leisurely as there is no function or ceremony scheduled till afternoon. First half of the day sees more and more guests coming. In the afternoon, the “Haldi rasm” is done which is followed by “Satyanarayana Katha”. And then everyone gets into the mode of welcoming the groom’s family as they arrive by 5-6 PM. From this time to the time groom comes to the “Swagat Dwar” on a “Ghodi”, you find people looking for a shampoo/moisturizer/deo/tie/perfume et al. Finally when groom arrives at the “Swagat Dwar”, bride’s family welcomes him with bride’s sisters holding the “Kalash”. Then its time for “Jaimaala” exchange and photo sessions which last for 2-3 hours. I pity the couple who have to bow down to touch feet and then keep standing for that whole duration! In parallel goes on the sumptuous dinner! By the time clock ticks midnight, many of the guests either leave or go to sleep. But then start the real “Vivah” stuff which includes “Saat ferey” and “Kanyadaan”. Ah, also the time for cousin sisters of bride to rob the groom by stealing his own shoes! And in the morning, its “vidaai” time where brother of the bride takes her to the car in the most sentimental part of the whole wedding.
Maybe, I have skipped some of the ceremonies but in a nut-shell, this is what my whole family was waiting for from last 8 months. All the ceremonies have their own meaning and relevance. But personally for me, “kanyadaan” was the most sentimental where parents of the bride gives away the hand of the girl to the groom with bride’s brother as the witness or “Sakshi”. There only the groom promises to keep bride happy his whole life. That was really very emotional!
The Indian weddings, despite all their pros and cons, are the best one I would say. They really give an emotional experience of a lifetime. In all these years, I always believed that marriages should be a low key affair and should be over in at most a day. And my mom has kept warning me that “a-single-day” wedding custom will definitely not start from our family. She says that you need to understand the difference between a “show-off” and a proper wedding with all the ceremonies. But after my sister’s marriage, I have become more understanding of our culture and its importance in our lives. And there’s no prize for guessing who’s the happiest person with this new-found understanding of mine;)
I’m not appreciating my culture at the expense of some other culture. It’s just the way we Indians are. India is unique. Diverse but unique. Some western observers have written lengthy articles about Indian traditions and customs and how they change every 100 km. They have wondered over many Indian customs and the example which I gave is only one of those others. And there are so many things in our culture, which either we don’t know about or if we know, then we don’t understand their meaning. But I got an insight into many of them recently.
Marriages in India are one more way to celebrate life. A get together with your loved ones and what follows is to remember and cherish all life. It’s generally a two days affair in our culture and all the close relatives come before day 1.
Day 1. It starts with “Ganesh pooja” as it happens before any “Shubh-kaarya”. This is followed by “Devi pooja” where parents worship “Durga” to provide her blessings to the bride. Next function is called “Mandap” where a “Havana-Kund” is put in the centre and four pillars surround it to make it a sacred place. Basically, “Mandap” is the place where all the remaining ceremonies take place. Some “pooja” is done to make it fit for all the ceremonies. Then, there is a “Rasm” called “Cheegat” where maternal uncles gift clothes to the bride and her family amidst all the banter. And then the evening is that part for which all the cousins wait for. Its time for “Mahila Sangeet”. Though its name can be misleading, “Mahila Sangeet” actually means that whole extended family gets into the groove and perform on the stage. Day ends typically by 2 am.
Day 2. The day starts leisurely as there is no function or ceremony scheduled till afternoon. First half of the day sees more and more guests coming. In the afternoon, the “Haldi rasm” is done which is followed by “Satyanarayana Katha”. And then everyone gets into the mode of welcoming the groom’s family as they arrive by 5-6 PM. From this time to the time groom comes to the “Swagat Dwar” on a “Ghodi”, you find people looking for a shampoo/moisturizer/deo/tie/perfume et al. Finally when groom arrives at the “Swagat Dwar”, bride’s family welcomes him with bride’s sisters holding the “Kalash”. Then its time for “Jaimaala” exchange and photo sessions which last for 2-3 hours. I pity the couple who have to bow down to touch feet and then keep standing for that whole duration! In parallel goes on the sumptuous dinner! By the time clock ticks midnight, many of the guests either leave or go to sleep. But then start the real “Vivah” stuff which includes “Saat ferey” and “Kanyadaan”. Ah, also the time for cousin sisters of bride to rob the groom by stealing his own shoes! And in the morning, its “vidaai” time where brother of the bride takes her to the car in the most sentimental part of the whole wedding.
Maybe, I have skipped some of the ceremonies but in a nut-shell, this is what my whole family was waiting for from last 8 months. All the ceremonies have their own meaning and relevance. But personally for me, “kanyadaan” was the most sentimental where parents of the bride gives away the hand of the girl to the groom with bride’s brother as the witness or “Sakshi”. There only the groom promises to keep bride happy his whole life. That was really very emotional!
The Indian weddings, despite all their pros and cons, are the best one I would say. They really give an emotional experience of a lifetime. In all these years, I always believed that marriages should be a low key affair and should be over in at most a day. And my mom has kept warning me that “a-single-day” wedding custom will definitely not start from our family. She says that you need to understand the difference between a “show-off” and a proper wedding with all the ceremonies. But after my sister’s marriage, I have become more understanding of our culture and its importance in our lives. And there’s no prize for guessing who’s the happiest person with this new-found understanding of mine;)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Craziness!
2011 is going at a crazy pace. So many things are happening in such a short span of time. Yeah, we see many things happening in our lives but here I’m talking about things which belong to that coveted “To remember all life” category.
Once we had an IT top gun at IMT who lectured us on project management. He said: “Forget about all those management mantras of team work and other jargons. You may need the team support but there is only one person who is responsible for every thing: Project Manager.” And then he gave the perfect analogy which I have ever heard: “Project manager can only be compared to bride’s brother during an Indian wedding. And you are intelligent enough to guess the rest”. I couldn’t agree more with him as I’m project manager at my work and was bride’s brother this January. I don’t want to get into the details, but everything went as per (even better than) the plan and was simply perfect!
I’m a big music lover (and here goes the biggest secret of my life. hehe). Anyway, I love songs with good lyrics and that’s why Gulzar sa’ab tops the list of the people I would love to meet someday. But this love of mine for songs has been mostly for Indian songs only. Having grown up on a staple diet of hindi songs, I got the exposure to english songs a little late. But when I got it, I instantly became fan of one of the greatest performers and on last Sunday, I got the golden opportunity to watch him perform: Live!
Bryan Adams. If you enter any classroom of any college, one thing that you’ll find for sure is the writings on the benches. In my polytechnic classroom, someone had written over the black board: “Everything I do, I do it for you”. I was bowled over by that pretty simple line. I liked that line but never knew that it’s a song by some Canadian singer until one of my friends told me. That was the day when I decided to listen some more of this singer. Since then, I can claim that I follow at least one foreign artist and can actually contribute to those discussions of my friends where they enthusiastically discuss the Hollywood and lot.
Last weekend, I got a chance to attend his concert in Bangalore and I must say that the experience has been really enthralling. There were 20,000+ enthusiasts and it took us nearly an hour and a half to enter the place. We were still in the queue when he sang “Here I am” and the frenzy that ensued cannot be described. What followed then were my all time favorites like “Lets make a night”, “Please forgive me”, “Cant sop this thing we started”, “Summer of ‘69”, “Everything I do” and he ended it with “Cloud number 9”. We were indeed on Cloud number 9 that night!
People often ask me my favorite Bryan Adams number and I really get confused. But if I have to choose, then I’ll definitely pick “Everything I do” and “Please forgive me”. Though every song of Bryan Adams has that potential, but these two really play naughty with your heart☺
So, I was just wondering that it has not been even 2 months of 2011 and I have got 2 experiences in my kitty that are right there on the top! Heaven knows what more this year has in store. Just keeping my fingers crossed!
Once we had an IT top gun at IMT who lectured us on project management. He said: “Forget about all those management mantras of team work and other jargons. You may need the team support but there is only one person who is responsible for every thing: Project Manager.” And then he gave the perfect analogy which I have ever heard: “Project manager can only be compared to bride’s brother during an Indian wedding. And you are intelligent enough to guess the rest”. I couldn’t agree more with him as I’m project manager at my work and was bride’s brother this January. I don’t want to get into the details, but everything went as per (even better than) the plan and was simply perfect!
I’m a big music lover (and here goes the biggest secret of my life. hehe). Anyway, I love songs with good lyrics and that’s why Gulzar sa’ab tops the list of the people I would love to meet someday. But this love of mine for songs has been mostly for Indian songs only. Having grown up on a staple diet of hindi songs, I got the exposure to english songs a little late. But when I got it, I instantly became fan of one of the greatest performers and on last Sunday, I got the golden opportunity to watch him perform: Live!
Bryan Adams. If you enter any classroom of any college, one thing that you’ll find for sure is the writings on the benches. In my polytechnic classroom, someone had written over the black board: “Everything I do, I do it for you”. I was bowled over by that pretty simple line. I liked that line but never knew that it’s a song by some Canadian singer until one of my friends told me. That was the day when I decided to listen some more of this singer. Since then, I can claim that I follow at least one foreign artist and can actually contribute to those discussions of my friends where they enthusiastically discuss the Hollywood and lot.
Last weekend, I got a chance to attend his concert in Bangalore and I must say that the experience has been really enthralling. There were 20,000+ enthusiasts and it took us nearly an hour and a half to enter the place. We were still in the queue when he sang “Here I am” and the frenzy that ensued cannot be described. What followed then were my all time favorites like “Lets make a night”, “Please forgive me”, “Cant sop this thing we started”, “Summer of ‘69”, “Everything I do” and he ended it with “Cloud number 9”. We were indeed on Cloud number 9 that night!
People often ask me my favorite Bryan Adams number and I really get confused. But if I have to choose, then I’ll definitely pick “Everything I do” and “Please forgive me”. Though every song of Bryan Adams has that potential, but these two really play naughty with your heart☺
So, I was just wondering that it has not been even 2 months of 2011 and I have got 2 experiences in my kitty that are right there on the top! Heaven knows what more this year has in store. Just keeping my fingers crossed!
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